


Josiane and the Peas

by Opalgirl



Category: Tortall - Pierce
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-11
Updated: 2010-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-08 21:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalgirl/pseuds/Opalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during WWRLAM. Raoul and Douglass are fed up with Jon's infatuation with Josiane and intend to make the princess... less than desirable. Then, somehow, they drag Gary along. Includes mockery of pink Gifts and Gary-mockery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Josiane and the Peas

"You bribed the chambermaids, right?" Douglass asked, trailing behind a little and looking furtively over his shoulder.

Gary sighed. "Yes." The only sounds in this part of the palace were the footfalls of the three knights, the rest of the nobles in residence all being two floors below in the ballroom. And somehow he had been dragged alone on some madness with his two friends, who were supposed to be grown me and much too old for pranks.

Raoul reached behind him and grabbed Douglass' sleeve, pulling him along until he caught up. "Stop making it look like we're up to something," he muttered. "We're not, remember?"

Douglass yanked free of Raoul's grasp and shoved his hands into his pockets, saying nothing.

Gary rolled his eyes. "I do not know why I agreed to this," he said, shaking his head, "really."

Raoul shook his head and said, "Yes, you do – Jonathan's being an insufferable idiot."

"And breaking into the princess's rooms is going to stop Jon's supposedly insufferable behavior how?" inquired Gary, as they walked along the halls.

"It's not 'supposedly', Gary – you should know. You have to have family dinners with him. And we're not breaking in, you dolt – it's unlocked. Isn't it?" Douglass laughed, Raoul was grinning, and Gary glared at his comrades.

"I can follow directions, even if they're questionable. How is breaking into…" he shut up as Douglass shushed him frantically, gesturing to the palace guard emerging from a room. The man paid them no mind and walked past them. Gary waited until the sounds of the guard's footfalls were no longer audible. "How, exactly, is breaking into the princess's rooms going to help anything?"

"Show him, Doug," Raoul commanded, and Douglass produced a small bag from his belt-purse, and pulled out what looked like a handful of dried peas from the bag.

"Peas?" demanded Gary, puzzled. "We're breaking into Josiane's rooms with _peas_?"

"He doesn't know the story – I don't know how."

"Paperwork," Doug explained, grinning, "he spends too much time helping His Grace."

Gary shoved his friend and looked at Raoul. "Are you going to explain?"

"We heard a story in the city…" Raoul began, and by the end of it, Gary was staring at him.

"You two are _mad_," he muttered, looking from one of his friends to the other. "You really think by putting peas beneath Josiane's mattress, you'll keep her from sleeping and make her ugly…"

"And grumpy…"

"And maybe make her go a little mad herself; it's in her family, after all..."

"… and Jon will what?"

"Stop chasing after her like a puppy…"

"And go find Alanna," Douglass finished, sounding far too optimistic for Gary's comfort.

"What does Alan – _Alanna_ \- have to do with this, you two?"

Raoul sighed as if he was exercising great patience. "You noticed he became an insufferable idiot after she left? He misses her."

"He went to visit her," Gary pointed out, as they approached Josiane's door.

"And came back a mess," Douglass said, propelling Gary along with his hand, "so something happened and now he's cursed us with Her Highness."

Gary rolled his eyes; it was true. Josiane was a nearly constant presence at court. Even when he called upon his aunt, the Queen, she was there. When he tried to get Jon to go riding, she was always there to intercede or flutter over the Prince. The door swung open and they stepped in, hurriedly shutting it behind them.

"She's not here?" Douglass asked, glancing around in the dark.

"No. She's downstairs in the ballroom," Raoul said, confidently, "hanging off Jon's every word like he's a genius."

"Of course she is – gods, do either of you have a light?"

Douglass made some noise in his throat. "You've got the Gift, Gary. It's safer than lighting a candle." Thinking that this was a prank on him and not the Copper Isles princess, Gary called a bit of light into his palm, hearing Raoul's snort.

"Is your father's Gift pink too?"

"Yes. Mithros, Raoul, _shut up_. We'll get caught at this stupidity if you keep it up," Gary snapped, as Raoul's laugh echoed around the chamber. The giant of a man, even next to Gary, somehow managed to stifle his laughter and Douglass was wearing a grin worthy of one George Cooper.

The princess's rooms were neat and tidy--kept by the maids, not her; Gary had heard them complaining for weeks of the work her suite of rooms left them--and the bed was draped in coverlets and plush pillows. The peas were placed beneath the feather stuffed mattress in short order, and everything was back the way it had been when they entered.

"She won't notice it's unlocked?"

"You're joking," said Raoul, shaking his head. "Gary, the wine that's being served downstairs – it would almost make me swear your uncle wants the whole court drunk."

Gary stared at Raoul as they slipped back out into the corridor, shutting the door quietly. "It's a good thing you said almost. Can we go?"

"Of course we can," quipped Douglass, "so he can break into the wine and tell everyone about how the Naxen Gift is pink."

Gary glared at them both. "It's not new knowledge," he informed them, as they left the guest wing of the palace. "My father's grandfather was King Jasson's right hand – and a mage."

"But it's funny," murmured Raoul, glancing over his shoulder as they walked.

"_Hysterical_. How did I get dragged into this?"

"You're the queen's nephew – you could save us." Douglass's grin was broad as he grabbed a torch from a bracket on the wall. "If we'd gotten caught."

"And we didn't get caught, thank all the gods. I'm too old for this nonsense."

Raoul shook his head and clapped him on the shoulder with force that would have staggered a smaller man. "You're never too old to try to save your kin from a…"

"_Raoul!_"

The giant of a knight was prepared to defend himself, arms folded across his chest. "She is. And she's crazy," he added, as if that made it any better.

Gary shook his head. "Country nobles – not fit for civilized company. I'm starting to think Lord HaMinch was right when he said that."

"HaMinch is a…"

"For Mithros' sake, never mind," he muttered, glancing at Douglass and Raoul. "I'm going to bed."

"We'll let you know if it works," said Douglass cheerily, "and you know, Gary – you could be less boring, just once in a while."

"Just because I am _not_ bent on getting myself arrested does not make me boring, Veldine," he muttered, walking away from his two slightly mad friends. He wondered if Josiane had rubbed off on them, too.


End file.
